Jessica Simpson has a bad case of the sads and is going on Oprah to tell us all about it. Jessica is all offended about John Mayer’s “sexual napalm” comments and wants to clear the air. Why is Jess so upset? I was surprised to hear that she is wild in bed. I always found her to be a little uptight sexually what with waiting until marriage to lose her virginity and all that.

Jessica should be glad that John honored her with such revelations as he really buried Jennifer Aniston with the comment about her wanting it to be 1998 again. Or was that 1989?

I simply cannot stand Oprah. She annoys the ever loving crap out of me but I will have to tune in today to watch Jessica squeeze out a few tears and promote whatever it is that she is promoting these days.