Now that Charlie Sheen has figured out a plea bargain is no dice he is going with the age-old bullcrap: It never happened. “It” being the altercation between him and his wife, Brooke Mueller last December.

I don’t know about you, but if I were drunk and full of illegal drugs I wouldn’t call the cops unless there were no other choice. Especially if I were a celebrity. No matter how messed up you get, you just don’t drunk dial the cops.

So, for Charlie to say that the whole thing never happened is ludicrous. We’ll see how that works for him. There is no middle ground for “it never happened”. No wiggle room. I suppose he’ll say this under oath and it wouldn’t be the first time the truth was lost on Charlie in a court of law. I think it’s time Chuckie spent some more time behind bars.